Unplanned Lessons

Sometimes I find myself in a place I never expected or wanted to be in. I realize that part of my being there is based on choices I’ve made over time, but sometimes, things just happen. They just happen and there doesn’t seem to be a clear reason as to why.

Like the day I went out in a canoe to show some people around. It started out great-the sky was clear, the lake calm, but then the clouds rolled in and so did the wind. While everyone else was in a two person canoe, I was solo, which meant I had to paddle twice as much as everyone else.

At some point, you can’t keep up, or rather, I couldn’t keep up. I got stuck in the weeds-literally. I could not get myself free of the weeds and the instant I did I started drifting backwards away from my group.

They were having a great time and kept going, which was fine until the fog rolled in. And yes, I totally lost sight of the those I was supposed to be showing around. I go so tired from paddling, going in circles, and being unable to see anyone else that I broke into tears.

I started telling God out loud that he had to help me and that I wasn’t going anywhere until he did. I was putting on a little tantrum, but I was beyond caring. I could not do it. I could not beat the wind and see past the fog. And yet I was still trying to do just that.

It’s times like that I (sometimes) realize, God is trying to get my attention and teach me something, although those are the times I really don’t want to hear it. I don’t want to be told to wait, to be patient, to stop and think before acting.

The lessons of “know that even in the fog and wind he is still there” are not always welcome, but they are true. He still cares. He knows the frustrations, the attempts, and the failures. He knows and will sit with you in it, even if you don’t want to, or even want him; he will be there.

I sometimes hate lessons like that. But they are necessary reminders that no matter what we face, we are loved. We are seen. We can be known on a deeper level if we take the time to stop and breathe and wait upon more than ourselves.

And yes, the fog lifted and I did get through the weeds and wind to my group, but only in God’s grace and with his timing.